Aliens attack the North Pole! Who will save Christmas?
Let’s be honest here, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is not alone. There are lots of bad movies in the world. But every so often a movie comes along that is so bad, well, it’s kinda cute. It’s lovably bad.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is one of these movies. For years it has almost gotten to our list of movies we have to watch every year for Christmas. Who can forget the song “Hurrah for Santa Claus”? Or the stupid hats the martians have with all the antennas sticking out? Or Santa’s weird laugh he does, often for no reason at all. Perhaps it’s a nervous tic? To be honest he seems kinda lewd. Not the normal Santa. Maybe a sequel is in the works, Lewd Santa does Vegas.
In this 1960s classic, the kids on Mars are all glued to their TVs, watching news about Santa. But Santa doesn’t dome to Mars, so obviously steps must be taken. After consulting with one of the elders, a ship is launched which kidnaps Santa and a couple of kids. As you can imagine, it all ends with Santa winning the day, and happiness for all the Martians and their kids.
If you’re a collector of really bad movies, this is one for you! Get it and put it in your collection. If you’re just a fan of bad sci-fi, it’s still definitely worth watching. The Mystery Science Theater version of this is also good. After all, you have bad acting, bad plots, campy characters, a catchy tune, aliens AND Santa! What more could you want? There also a package on Amazon consisting of both the movie and a book about Santa Claus Conquers the Martians that might be worth checking out.
Unspeakable Horrors From Outer Space Paralyze the Living and Resurrect the Dead!
Where to begin? If you’ve never heard of Plan 9 from Outer Space, and you like bad sci-fi, you are in for a treat. This is the uber-mother kahuna of bad sci-fi movies. It’s regularly ranked as the worst, which is kind of odd because until 1980 or so most people had never heard of it. I guess you could call it a sleeper stinker.
First, the star of the movie, Bela Lugosi, seemed like a great choice. The Hungarian actor was world-famous for his portrayal of bad guys. But that was back in the day, and by the time Director Ed Wood found Lugosi, he was a heroin addict and suffering miserably. Wood could work around this, though, and captured a lot of stock footage of Lugosi in preparation for several movies. But Lugosi died in the middle of Plan 9, so in parts of the movie the bad guy is played by Lugosi and parts of the movie the bad guy is played by some other guy who looks nothing like Lugosi.
If this wasn’t bad enough, the special effects were, well, “extra” special. Like pie plates being used for UFOs, or cardboard props that are obviously fake. The plot-line is ridiculous, the acting bad, and the ending makes no sense. Other than that? It was a really bad movie. Amazon has a pretty good deal on the DVD, and there’s a BluRay available. For those who collect really bad sci-fi, this one is definitely a keeper!
Plan 9 From Outer Space is so famously bad that there’s a documentary about it and even a movie about Ed Wood’s life directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp.
They'll Scare Your Pants Off!
Released in 1967, with the DVD coming out in 2000
A couple of Country and Western singers and their manager are on their way to Nashville when car trouble leads them to a mysterious house. There’s ghosts, spies, and a secret rocket fuel formula. What’s not to like? It’s got blondes, iron maidens, sing-a-longs, and a plot right out of Scooby Do. Surprisingly, it’s a sequel to the also-unheard-of Las Vegas Hillbillies. I would say I didn’t like the movie, but it’s so innocently hackneyed that I can’t call it terrible. Really bad, yes. But not terrible. After all, how many other Country Spy Sci-Fi musical movies are there? And of course, if you’re going to be an evil villain, you should have a pet gorilla (man in a bad gorilla suit). Doesn’t everybody? Definitely in Plan 9 territory.
Monster A Go-Go. Must be seen to be believed.
Monster a Go-Go.
Psyched by the 4-D Witch.
1965 (Original), 2002 (DVD)
This is a actually a double-feature, back from the old B-movie sexploitation days. A crackpot oddity told almost entirely in psychedelic effects, this is like a combination of one of Ed Wood’s last few films and a REALLY intense, bad acid trip. Every few seconds you will ask yourself “WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!” One of the best parts is all the odds and ends stuck between the two features. Sexploitation weird and bad sci-fi b-movies at their best.